


Hellbound

by Melinique



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25485952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melinique/pseuds/Melinique
Summary: Nick has a secret, but the problem is, he doesn't remember what the secret is. When Lucifer possesses Nick and discovers the secret buried deep in Nick’s subconscious, he makes the un-Lucifer-like decision to help keep it hidden. Years later, Lucifer is killed and Nick learns the secret that was kept from him. But, what will he do with this knowledge?
Relationships: Lucifer/Nick (Supernatural)
Kudos: 16





	Hellbound

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: This is what happens when my beta suggests a song for a story involving Nick and what comes into my mind is nowhere close to what she thought I’d get out of it. The songs called In Hell I’ll Be in Good Company, I have no idea who sings it though…I only really listened to it once.
> 
> Beta's note: The song in question is performed by Dead South.
> 
> Warning: (Gruesome) Depictions of violence, rape and filicide along with sexual sadism. There’s only one part of the story that this happens in and if you want to skip it look for the ‘OoOoO’ at the beginning and end of the section. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural and all characters wherein belong to their respective owners, I do not own them nor have I ever claimed to, I’m just playing around with them.
> 
> Other: And, a huge thank you to my wonderful beta from the Stanford Daze series, The Lost Book of Chuck, Vampire Rescue Mission, Creole Pie, Lost Bones, and who's now acting as my beta for this story, vrskaandrea - any remaining errors are solely my own.

Nick remembered the day his wife and son had been killed, it had been a day he’d never forget. He wasn’t sure how long he’d screamed, cried, and abused his own body - physically or even with drugs or alcohol, before he’d been offered a sense of peace, of relief, and he’d taken it.

Lucifer remembered the day he possessed Nick, he’d honestly not cared much one way or another WHO he possessed as long as the body could contain his grace until he could get to his true vessel. What he saw deep in the humans subconscious had startled him, though. And, he wasn’t even sure WHY it had startled him, he didn’t care about humans and considered his father's creation a vile species only slightly above the demons he himself had made.

Lucifer used a small portion of his grace - not even noticeable, unless you were looking for it - to help keep the human's secret. Even when he left the vessel, that small portion of his grace would remain, not only allowing him a backdoor should he ever need to repossess him - it would be part of his Plan B should it become necessary - but also to keep that memory hidden, even from Nick.

When Lucifer was finally able to possess Sam, Nick felt a sudden and uncomfortable emptiness before his world went black. Lucifer just watched as the light of Nick’s soul faded trying to identify the feeling he was…experiencing. He actually knew what the feeling was but it wasn’t until he heard the voice in the back of his head - Sam - tell him that what he was feeling was GRIEF that he was able to acknowledge it even if he buried it just as quickly, it wasn’t something he could afford to feel.

When Sam wrenched control from him to trap BOTH him and Michael - and himself - in the Cage, there was a part of him that was laughing, not because he had planned out his escape from the Cage for millennia and was being forced back in such a short amount of time, but Nick was more than likely already in Hell and it was where he was heading back to.

**xXxXx**

Nick didn’t know how much time he’d spent on the rack - he knew from being Lucifer’s vessel that time worked differently in Hell, a month on Hell was ten years in Hell, and he was having a hard time gauging the time because of that. It wasn’t helping him attempt to gauge time when the person that was torturing him - which they were having to get creative with, because all they were really doing was helping him feed his masochistic side - looked EXACTLY like his wife.

Nick wasn’t sure HOW he’d gotten off the rack but coming to, stabbing the illusion of his wife repeatedly in the stomach and chest had him recoiling, but he stopped when he saw the illusion fade and watched as the demons smoke dissipated. He was curious why nobody attempted to put him back on the rack and all but a handful of demons were avoiding him like he was poison to them. He wasn’t complaining though, something was tugging at his soul and he figured since it was obviously in Hell, he could find out what it was. Okay, so if you weren’t torturing or being tortured, Hell could actually be a very boring place.

**xXxXx**

Lucifer laughed and Michael just stared at his insane brother. Adam and Sam were backed into the same corner, trying to stay as far away as possible from the two archangels.

Lucifer had felt a sudden pull and a small drain of his grace, he would have thought that Nick wouldn’t have figured out how to do that, but he’d actually been impressed that he had. Nick was in fact in Hell and to have that sudden pull on his grace, he figured that whoever had been close to Nick was probably dead. Yeah, one dead demon, he was okay with that. He wondered if his father had made a mistake with choosing his true vessel, because Nick was a lot more entertaining than Sam.

Lucifer leaned back against the wall of the Cage with his eyes closed and a small grin on his face. Hearing Adam and Sam scream as the Cage began its own special brand of torture was amusing but when Michael’s joined the chorus, he felt bad for his brother. It wasn’t angels that he had the problem with, it was humans - it was why he felt guilty over Gabriel’s death. The Cage was intelligent, that was the only thing Lucifer had ever come up with when it had stopped torturing him after he’d become numb to the pain it inflicted on him. His greatest fear had simply become being alone forever, so the Cage hadn’t needed to do anything. He was curious what it would do now that he WASN’T alone in the Cage, but he wouldn’t scream…it had to be aware of that.

**xXxXx**

Nick wasn’t sure how long it had taken him to find the Cage, it had taken awhile to loop his way through every nook and cranny of Hell he could find until one particular supposed dead-end led him into what he instinctively knew to be the part of Hell considered to be Limbo. While he personally had no faith - which was odd considering his soul had been surrounded by a literal archangels grace - he was still aware of Purgatory and Limbo being concepts primarily of Catholicism…which made him wonder if Lucifer’s father actually approved of Judaism since it seemed more likely he leaned toward Catholicism. But, nobody asked his atheist bound-for-Hell soul what his opinion was, even before he became the vessel of Satan, so he tended to keep those thoughts to himself.

Nick had his hands on his hips as he looked up at the Cage, he’d honestly expected something more intimidating then some box suspended in the air by chains and frequent lightning. He wondered if maybe his court ordered therapist had been right and maybe he needed to be in a long-term treatment facility because if the Cage that Lucifer had actually feared ever ending up in again, wasn’t even making him flinch, maybe there was something wrong with his head.

When he suddenly saw a bright light from above, he instinctively had known that it was actually an angel and that if he was judging what he was seeing properly, it was the Winchester’s pet angel, the little seraph, Castiel. When he saw moments later the angel shooting back up out of Hell, he caught a glimpse and noticed that he’d forgotten half of what he’d came for, he had Sam’s body not his soul. And, how he knew that was beyond him, but he did wonder how their pet angel would explain that one to the older brother.

When someone appeared behind Nick, he ended up spinning up and coming face-to-scythe with Death himself. When he didn’t show fear toward Death - he was already dead so fearing death was pointless to him - he ended up learning that Death was there to collect Sam’s soul but had wanted a word with Nick first since it was difficult to get into Limbo through Hell despite Limbo technically being a part of Hell and he’d been impressed that Nick had done so…so quickly. He also learnt that the actual reason he’d been able to find the Cage so easily was actually because he had an insignificant amount of Lucifer’s grace still in his body, so it was drawn to…the archangel.

Nick ended up furious when he found it impossible to get INTO the Cage no matter how many times he tried. He had figured the Cage had been made to keep things - archangels or more precisely, Lucifer - IN NOT OUT.

**xXxXx**

Lucifer ended up surprised that Castiel of all angels - considering he knew he’d killed him - ended up coming for Sam and ended up leaving solely with his body. He felt a little bad for the seraphim, he went through all the trouble of getting into the Cage only to leave with only half of what he intended to get - because he knew his little brother wasn’t cruel enough to leave Sam’s soul on purpose.

When Death came for Sam’s soul, Lucifer didn’t even bother opening his eyes. He could sympathize with Sam which might have been why God had wanted Sam to be his true vessel. Sam had a lousy father and an overbearing brother and so did Lucifer. He doubted that Sam would necessarily be HAPPY back on Earth, but at least he’d have a brother he loved and who loved him. That was an advantage Sam had over Lucifer, if it wasn’t for the visions or hallucinations that Michael was seeing, he’d be at Lucifer’s throat, and Lucifer wasn’t naïve enough to think otherwise.

With only Adam and Michael’s screams, Lucifer tuned them out. But, as he continued to just sit there, he would almost say that there was someone beating on the outside of the Cage, but he doubted that that was the case, it was probably just that the Cage had finally found a new way to torture him. It wasn’t until something hit the Cage hard enough to make it vibrate and ring loudly and Adam and Michael also jumping at the sudden sound that had Lucifer believing that he might not actually be hallucinating. The sound repeated multiple time before he felt the tug on his grace and he couldn’t help but grin and think, ‘ _It isn’t going to work, Nick._ ’ A part of him wishing and wondering that Nick could actually hear him.

**xXxXx**

Nick had wondered aimlessly around Hell, he wasn’t sure for how long, but it was long enough that he’d taken to spending more time with the hellhounds than with the demons who were either wanting him gone - an angel blade solved that problem quickly enough - or wanted him to kill Crowley and take over being ruler of Hell - the fact he wasn’t a demon didn’t seem to matter to them, they were the demons loyal to Lucifer, and since he still had that piece of Lucifer’s grace, it made them loyal to him. If he had wanted to stage a coup, he would’ve already done it, he just wanted to be left alone, and the hellhounds were better company than the pissy demons he’d come across, anyways.

What Nick didn’t realize until many years into this behavior of being attached to the hellhounds was just how much of an advantage that gave him over the demons, because oddly enough while a hellhound was in theory subservient to the demons - a pack of hellhounds could still make all but a Knight or Prince of Hell run for the hills.

Nick had only seen Dean once during his time as a demon and it had left him staggered to know that Michael’s true vessel had become a demon, it wasn’t until he’d seen Amara’s Mark that he realized that Dean had the same mark on his arm that Lucifer’s grace still held remnants of. He’d purposely avoided Dean after that, knowing just how much damage he could create if the Mark ever broke him like it had Lucifer.

**xXxXx**

Lucifer had to admit that possessing the same vessel as another angel, at the same time was…different. But what was making his grace crawl was that the angel - the vessel - he was possessing was that angel's TRUE vessel. Jimmy Novak was Castiel’s true vessel. While he wasn’t concerned about burning through Castiel’s grace since he’d been able to contain every Leviathan inside that body, he knew that after the Darkness had been defeated, he was going to have to find a different vessel just to find remote comfort, again.

Lucifer had to admit, he was concerned about how easy it was to keep Castiel from fighting him. It worked almost like a Djinn induced dream - just without the life draining - but knowing what the Winchesters had done to him and what he’d turned around and done to them…maybe it shouldn’t have been a concern. Castiel just wanted to be useful, even if that meant having to be Lucifer’s vessel - or share his vessel with Lucifer. Okay, if Lucifer ever became ruler of ANYTHING, his first edict would simply be ‘One demon OR angel to a vessel at a time’ because that was confusing, even to him!

**xXxXx**

When Nick came face-to-face with Castiel, he wondered what the hell - no pun intended - an angel was willingly doing in Hell - the fact Castiel had been there once to rescue Dean and another time to rescue Sam notwithstanding. It wasn’t until the angel put his right hand on Nick’s cheek and he felt a flare from the archangel grace inside him and both their eyes flashed red that he realized it was actually Lucifer. He was pretty certain that Castiel was still there to but Lucifer was the one firmly in control.

To say Nick was surprised when Cas-Lucifer leaned his head on Nick’s left shoulder would have been like saying Hell smelled like brimstone, Heaven wasn’t as beautiful as religion dictated, or that Earth’s sky was blue. He’d been surprised when Lucifer admitted that he was miserable inside Castiel’s body, his grace wouldn’t stop crawling. He’d been more than a little concerned when Lucifer had admitted that he’d had Nick’s body watched over for years but that when he was considering a way to get both Nick’s soul and Lucifer’s grace back into the body that Nick’s body had disappeared.

Lucifer explained how he planned to repossess Nick once Amara was defeated but that without the body, there was no way to do that. Lucifer listened as Nick asked if there were any way for him to help. Lucifer joking - because he would NEVER have been serious about it with Nick - that there wasn’t one unless Nick wanted to be turned into a demon. Nick had simply wrapped his arms around Lucifer and told him to do what he needed to do.

Nick had been surprised when Lucifer had recoiled from him like he’d been stung. He’d listened as Lucifer went on a very animated and colorful tangent about how just because Lucifer had created the first demon and knew how to make them faster than any demon could hope to didn’t mean he planned to do it, again.

The last time before Lucifer, his father, and the Winchesters were going to face Amara - or that was how Nick understood the plan to be - that Nick saw Lucifer, was with Lucifer offering to change Nick. Nick didn’t understand what had changed Lucifer’s mind.

Lucifer admitted that he had never been what someone would have considered a ‘good’ angel, always having that bit of rebellion in him even before he took the Mark. But, while he loved his brothers and sisters, he made no attempt to hide his disdain for the humans or even the demons. He didn’t even particularly care about his true vessel as anything more than a means to an end but there was something about Nick that was…different. And, that if Nick was dead-set on becoming a demon, he figured he could at least do ONE good thing in his life - even if it was something that wouldn’t really be looked at that way by anyone else.

There was something about Lucifer’s behavior and the feel of his grace that Nick was finding very…discomforting. It seemed like to Nick that Lucifer didn’t REALLY think they’d win against Amara, but Nick knew the prideful bastard wouldn’t admit to that. While his answer wasn’t immediate, when Nick did agree - a couple minutes later, it was with absolute certainty.

After the excruciating painful process was over, Nick was curled up in a ball on the floor shaking. And, Lucifer left after telling Nick that he was a very special type of demon.

**xXxXx**

Nick was surprised to be approached by Crowley, they’d really kept out of each others personal space - which pretty much just meant they kept to two different ends of Hell. What he had NOT expected was to be brought to his body - he couldn’t figure out how Crowley had it when Lucifer hadn’t even known where it was - unless, Crowley had had it the whole time since Lucifer had lost track of it. He turned on Crowley, ready to show the Crossroads Demon/King of Hell just what HE was fully capable of but never got the chance because as soon as he noticed Rowena, she began casting a spell that left him bound to his body - now, kind of…vessel.

Lucifer was FURIOUS when he was bound to Nick’s body without Nick, but that feeling quickly turned to contentment when he finally took notice of an angry Nick already there. Well, he could certainly see worse situations to be captured in and even with Crowley and Rowena THINKING they control him, there were very few spells that can PERMANTLY bind an archangel and since Nick was a NEW type of demon - namely, an archdemon, something more powerful than even a Knight or Prince of Hell - it was doubtful that they’d be able to hold Nick for long, either.

It actually turned out easier for Nick to break his bindings than for Lucifer since Nick was a NEW - more powerful - type of demon, Rowena’s generic spell to keep him bound didn’t hold nearly as long as even Lucifer expected. What Lucifer wasn’t expecting was that to mean that Nick to snuggle up close to Lucifer’s grace. He didn’t actually think that that was safe for a demon to be in such close proximity to raw grace, but Nick still had that small piece of grace that blocked out a particular memory…plus a bit extra Lucifer had siphoned off to give Nick a little EXTRA boost but also to see if it would integrate like that piece had - so, hopefully it protected Nick.

When Lucifer broke his bonds, he felt the thrill that shot through Nick. Lucifer no longer needed Sam Winchester as his vessel, even on an unintentional level…Crowley and his bitch-witch of a mother had made sure of that, they had done what he’d planned on finding a way to do. The difference? Now, if Nick so chose…HE could leave his own body/vessel, but he was content being close and cozy up against Lucifer’s grace.

**xXxXx**

When Asmodeus captured Lucifer and Castiel, Nick had been off attempting to learn a ‘trick’ of sorts of jumping from one vessel to another in rapid succession smoothly. Why he thought that had been a good idea when just a single jump out of his vessel was rough, not to mention he’d more than once somehow knocked Lucifer out of the vessel when jumping back…was beyond him.

When Nick learned that Lucifer - and Castiel but mostly Lucifer - had been captured by Asmodeus, he’d used his current vessel - he was NEVER jumping into a woman again, it felt…WEIRD - and made his way back into Hell. When he found the foolhardy Prince of Hell, he learnt that Lucifer and Castiel had escaped, but instead of going after them his attention was drawn to a weakened and injured Gabriel and a man he wasn’t familiar with. He figured he’d let Lucifer deal with Asmodeus later but for the moment, he jumped from the female vessel he’d been possessing into the man close to Gabriel. When he turned his attention to Asmodeus, he knew his eyes were black except for the red irises that was a trait of Lucifer’s archangel grace, and made his position quite clear…that Asmodeus was a dead man - demon - once he got back to Lucifer.

After dropping Gabriel off at the Bunker - and the startled looks from Sam and Dean had been worth it - Nick had left to find Lucifer. It turned out not to be difficult to find Lucifer once he allowed the grace to lead him. Before returning to his vessel, though…Nick asked Lucifer what the difference was between what he was doing with Nick than what Asmodeus was doing to Gabriel. Lucifer had been clear when he explained that it was a matter of free will, what Lucifer was doing was voluntary while what was being done to Gabriel was anything but.

**xXxXx**

Nick had not by any stretch of the word even remotely liked this OTHER Michael. He was a complete asshole and had already killed that universes Lucifer. Why his Lucifer wanted to align himself with that Michael was beyond him, but he had no desire to leave Lucifer to deal with that psychopathic Michael alone. The fact that Lucifer had Jack’s grace was extremely uncomfortable for Nick, but he wouldn’t fault Lucifer for wanting to be as powerful as he used to be. In short, he didn’t like being weaker than Nick even if Nick never alluded to that fact because he knew the prideful angel would end up either pouting or sulking.

Nick had about snapped when he learned that Dean had said yes to THAT Michael. He’d known Dean to do some REALLY STUPID things, but this…THIS took the cake.

Nick had been half-tempted to find a temporary vessel and help Sam - a thought he NEVER thought he’d have - get rid of the insane Michael, but he stayed. It wasn’t because he COULDN’T leave, but he’d been getting a really, REALLY bad feeling about things as soon as he’d seen Dean as Michael’s vessel. It wasn’t until Michael and Lucifer faced one another that Nick knew what it was. Michael had his true vessel, Lucifer did not. Michael had his own grace, Lucifer did not. Even juiced up on Jack’s nephilim grace, it was not the same as having ones own.

Everything happened so quickly, Lucifer attempting to smite Michael - and wasn’t THAT just the damnedest thing, Sam tossing the archangel blade to Dean, and Lucifer wrapping his entire being around Nick’s as the blade plunged into the vessel.

Nick had been surprised at the blood from the wound, it was…ODD for him to bleed after being possessed by Lucifer and had become practically non-existent since being an archdemon. He had not however been surprised when Dean’s eyes glowed with Michael’s grace, the fool had believed Michael that he would leave once Lucifer was dead. He had again been surprised though that Michael left him alive.

**xXxXx**

**OoOoO**

Nick stared into the eyes of his sobbing wife, Sarah. Her face was almost unrecognizable, there were shallow cuts all over her body, her legs were at unnatural angles. And, Nick whose knuckles were bloody twirled the butcher knife in his right hand. He held her close as he kept telling her softly that everything would be okay and he repeated that over and over again as he shoved the blade of the knife to its hilt up inside her vagina, the sound of her screams was intoxicating, so he repeated the action until her cries faded and her body went limp against him. After using the knife to cut her throat deeply, he looked down at himself and wanted more when he realized that by the damp patch on the front of his jeans, he’d gotten off on killing Sarah…or maybe he got off on fucking her with the blade. Either way, he wanted more!

Putting the knife down, he stood up and proceeded to walk to his sons, Teddy’s room. Nick picked a crying Teddy up from the crib, ignoring the blood on his hands, cradling and beginning to rock Teddy, Nick began to softly sing a variant of _Hush, Little Baby_ as he carried his son out of the room and into the kitchen. He kept Teddy cradled in one arm as he got Sarah’s large chili pot out from under the sink - leaving the lid under the sink, before filling the pot with water and then sitting the pot on the stove next to the sink and turning the burner on high. He knew what was going to happen was going to be BEAUTIFUL. When the water reached a rolling boil, he stepped up to the pot before looking down at his son with a manic grin. Holding Teddy out in front of him, he told his son that he loved him before dropping him into the water, not even taking notice of the hot water he got splashed with. Hearing the pained, boiling, drowning, crying of Teddy had him quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans before shoving them and his briefs down to his mid-thigh, taking himself in hand fast and rough, his orgasm tearing through him mere moments after Teddy falls silent.

**OoOoO**

**xXxXx**

Nick curled up in a ball on the floor of the dungeon - he’d made no attempts to stop Sam from bringing him back to the Bunker after losing Lucifer. The fact that Nick was apparently an archdemon meant that he was being kept trapped in the Bunker’s dungeon, but he honestly couldn’t have cared less - without Lucifer, he didn’t know what his purpose was. But, the reason he was curled up on the floor wasn’t because he even needed sleep - because he didn’t - but because what he’d buried from himself all those years ago and Lucifer had helped him to further hide it - and why he did Nick did not know - after the mental block had fully come off after Lucifer’s death…Nick had remembered how Sarah and Teddy had died. HE had killed them both and while he hadn’t touched himself while he got off to killing Sarah, he’d gotten himself off while his infant son boiled alive.

When Dean showed up in the dungeon, Nick honestly figured that Michael had come to finish the job, but he could also tell that Michael was gone, because what Dean was wearing, Michael never would. Michael liked his suits…so did Lucifer but he didn’t object to what Nick wore, either. It surprised Nick that Dean had bothered coming into the dungeon without Michael, Sam had stopped coming after Nick would just stare at him until he left and the routine never changed, Castiel had stopped coming after Nick had thrown an angel blade at him - for whatever reason, Sam hadn’t thought to check to make sure Nick wasn’t armed - and if he’d actually cared about his aim he wouldn’t have missed, and Jack stopped coming after…well, Nick knew that Jack had lost his soul somehow and that was when Jack stopped.

Dean questioned Nick about why he said yes to Lucifer all those years ago. Nick sat up to look at him and considered just doing the same thing as he had done with Sam, but while his disdain for Sam came from…well, okay…he was JEALOUS that Sam was Lucifer’s true vessel, his disdain for Dean had been much more recent…as in saying yes to the lunatic Michael recent. So, he explained to Dean why he’d said yes. But, he also took it one step further and explained what he’d remembered about Sarah and Teddy’s deaths…honestly hoping that Dean would finish what Michael started. Dean admitted that monsters he understood, it was humans that he didn’t get. Nick easily agreed because even being an archdemon…he couldn’t see himself doing that again and why he’d done it as a human was beyond him, he’d loved them both. Dean asked if Nick had had psychological problems as a human and Nick admitted that he’d been diagnosed as bipolar back then, he’d had a court ordered therapist ever since going after his father - a bastard worse than John - with a hammer. Dean hadn’t liked Nick’s jab at his father but he couldn’t deny occasionally having those feelings himself…okay, he could deny it, but he didn’t then.

Dean questioned Nick about why he agreed to become a demon because the process had to be excruciatingly painful. Nick admitted that despite being masochistic, it had been painful, but it had been the only way he could help Lucifer locate his - Nick’s - body, but Lucifer had actually refused. Despite still not having found his body by the time of what ended up being the last time Lucifer would see Amara, he decided to change Nick into a demon, but being that the archangel had formed a…bond with Nick, he’d made Nick special. He would be the only archdemon that Lucifer ever created, his power surpassing that of either a Knight of Hell, Prince of Hell, or even Eve. He also had a bit of Lucifer’s archangel grace but it had integrated with his demon self.

Dean questioned if that made him like Asmodeus and Nick repeated what Lucifer had told him, what Lucifer had done was voluntary and not something Nick had EVER asked for, but what had been done to Gabriel had been forced. And, that Asmodeus had actually been the weakest of the Princes before the archangel boost while Nick was not made to be a WEAK demon and with Lucifer’s grace and not Gabriel’s…it wouldn’t have actually been difficult to kill Asmodeus, but Lucifer had thought it was justified that Gabriel do it, it was why Nick hadn’t confronted Asmodeus for angel-napping a weakened Lucifer.

Dean had many more questions for Nick and Nick answered them all. The final question was simply Dean asking Nick if he planned to attempt to bring Lucifer back. Nick simply told him that yes, that was his plan. Dean then told Nick bluntly that they couldn’t let Nick do that. What surprised Nick though was when Dean erased part of the demons trap that Nick was stuck inside - Nick could have actually broken the trap himself if he had put in the effort but hadn’t bothered with doing, yet. Dean tossed Nick the angel blade that Nick had tossed at Castiel the last time Castiel had been in the dungeon, explained that the next time Nick saw a member of Team Free Will, it would be to stop Nick. Nick didn’t understand what Dean was thinking letting him go, but he still left before Dean changed his mind.

**xXxXx**

Nick had been trying to find something - SOMEWAY - to free Lucifer from the Empty. But, he couldn’t think of any…anyway to get him out. God kept bringing Castiel back but he would NEVER do that for Lucifer. Lucifer had been called the Father of Lies, but which was really the FIRST lie? Had it been that Lucifer had been God’s favorite? It was obvious by Lucifer’s millennia upon millennia of imprisonment and then the abandonment that THAT was clearly a lie. Or, was it that God had ever actually cared for the angels? Knowing the reason the archangels and the reason for the lower angels creation, how had God ever expected them to turn out any different? Lucifer still loved his father, Nick knew that, but Nick HATED the being that only seemed to hurt those who doesn’t fit the EXACT mold.

At a loss as to what else to do, Nick got down on his knees, clasped his hands together, and prayed to THE ONE higher power that he actually had faith in.

‘I can’t recall ever doing this before…except maybe when I was a child when I still believed that God wasn’t the biggest monster of them all. I have to try, though…I don’t know what else to do. I used to tell my therapist I do the things I do because they felt good. Now, I say that I do the terrible things I do because I couldn’t find who killed Sarah and Teddy. And, that once I do, I’d be free of this darkness and rage but…how can I ever be free from this darkness when I’m the one who killed them? I didn’t remember doing it…I swear I didn’t remember…until you died. How could I do that to them? I loved them both with everything I was. Maybe, I’m the monster here. Maybe, I just enjoy hurting people. But, the things I’ve done while I was you…while you were me…truth is, I know I liked doing those things, and I don’t want to stop. I’m bonded to you and what you are. I mean, it’s how you first found me. I don’t know who I am anymore…if I’m not you. No consequences. No pain. No sorrow. I want that back. I want it back. I don’t want to feel now what I didn’t feel then. Where are you? Where are you, Lucifer? Help me. Please, help me.’

**xXxXx**

Lucifer sat up and looked around. He wasn’t sure at first where he was, the place looked dark…empty, but he could feel it in his grace…wherever he was, while he couldn’t SEE anyone else, he could FEEL them. And, this place…it was so, so full. Suddenly remembering the fight with the Michael from that other universe and the stab of the archangel blade through his grace, he realized just where he was. Well, FIRST he realized he was dead and THEN he realized he was in the Empty. It was with that epiphany though that he wondered where Nick was, had he been able to keep Nick safe because while archangel blades weren’t made to kill a human…it could kill a demon just as easily as an archangel?

Once Lucifer realized that no matter what he did his wings wouldn’t allow him to take flight, he began to walk, jog, and then run in short order calling for Nick along the way. Either, he was going to find his Nick or he’d wake up The Shadow and figure out a way to make it let him go. Either way, he was going to find his Nick if it was the last thing he did!

**xXxXx**

Getting Jack’s blood had been the most difficult ingredient to get for the spell to release Lucifer, but Nick refused to fail, it was that simple. Doing the spell hadn’t been much more difficult, not when he realized that he had A LOT of Lucifer’s knowledge concerning angels, demons - including how to make them if he so chose, memories from Lucifer’s time in Heaven, and most importantly - in that instance, anyways - his knowledge of spell work, because Nick didn’t really do spells.

Seeing Lucifer’s true form through the rip between Earth and the Empty…if Nick hadn’t already known what Lucifer’s true form looked like, he’d have turned and RAN, but knowing that Lucifer’s true form wasn’t grace bright or beautiful - in it’s own way, it still was though. Nick didn’t even hesitate before agreeing to Lucifer possessing his body, again - whether that was even necessary since Nick was a demon…it was the thought behind it.

When Jack showed up, Nick positioned himself between Jack and the portal. Jack attempted to send Nick flying only for Nick to be surrounded - concealed - by wings. Between one moment and the next, Lucifer had ‘vanished’, and Nick’s eyes were black except for the red irises, and there were a pair of wings on his back. Nick only groaned when he saw the color.

Jack attempted to force BOTH Lucifer and Nick through the portal only to end up with Nick’s right hand on the top of his head. Lucifer expressed his disappointment in Jack before Jack’s eyes lit up white.

Dean came to a screeching halt as he watched Jack’s body hit the floor. He watched frozen as Nick gave a mock salute and a smirk before disappearing. Sam literally ran into Dean’s back, sending them BOTH to the floor. Castiel came in a moment later, as Dean and Sam scrambled back to their feet, and bypassed the brothers entirely as he ran over to his son.

Dean hadn’t been honest with Sam and Cas about how Nick had escaped and he knew…in that moment, he never could be. He had been angry at Jack over Mary’s death, but he hadn’t wanted the kid DEAD! Yes, Jack had killed Mary on a random hunt, making a wrong judgment call because he had no soul - thanks to Cas who told them AFTER Mary was already dead! But, he’d wanted the kid locked away…not DEAD!

**xXxXx**

Nick sat on a bench with a large tray of chili cheese fries - either he or Lucifer was going to teach those food cart owners that LARGE didn’t mean ‘just slightly bigger then my hand’, THAT was small. And, he just rolled his eyes in annoyance when ‘Chuck’ just up and appeared next to him on the bench.

Chuck expressed his disappointment over Nick and Lucifer killing Jack, he’d wanted Dean to do it. NOW, he had to go back and start another partial draft. Lucifer ignored Chuck’s pouting and just let Nick enjoy his snack.

When Chuck realized that Lucifer DIDN’T care about the fact he’d messed up Chuck’s story, he offered to let Lucifer back in the story…figuring he could still someway get his Michael vs. Lucifer end-of-the-world battle. Nick picked up the half-full tray of chili cheese fries from his lap, upturned it on Chuck’s head, told him in no uncertain terms and that it was from both him and Lucifer ‘go fuck yourself’, before promptly disappearing…leaving a fuming Chuck behind.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: I honestly hadn’t planned on this being 6000+ words but it was A LOT of fun to write, so I don’t regret it. I hope you liked it, too.
> 
> Beta's note: I honestly had no idea my author had such a twisted mind, but what scares me the most is that I actually didn't mind it as much. Guess I know how Lucifer felt, having seen (read) far more worse things than this. What Nick did to his wife and child aside, Nick as a side character who became the hero of his own story was an amazing adventure. Letting out of His sight someone He thought was insignificant allowed for His story to fail spectacularly. Should've paid more attention, Chuck.
> 
> Reviews/Comments/Constructive Criticism welcome!


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